Last weekend we went to the Detroit Auto Show. We took the Detroit People Mover from Greek town to the show with our friends Ben and Liz Prince. I am pretty sure the Princes think that Jesse and I's relationship is hanging by a thread.
We took said people mover (which does exactly what it says- it moves people around downtown Detroit) to and from our car. Two 3 minute rides. In the six minutes, Jesse threatened not to speak to me ever again twice.
It started with tokens. A token for a ride costs 75 cents. We needed two tokens so I put my smallest bill in the machine, which was a ten (thats how we roll). How was I supposed to know it was going to give me all ten dollars worth of people mover tokens?
Jesse: What are you doing?! What are we going to do with ten dollars of Chuck E. Cheese money?
Sarah: Listen, the machine was not clearly marked.
Jesse: Whatever, get on the train.
On the way back we were standing in line and Jesse said "Give me what coins we don't need and I am going to go sell them". So I did and he came back excited.
Jesse: Daddy worked his magic and we actually are coming out ahead in the deal. I made us 75 cents; not all people had change. You're welcome.
Sarah: No you're welcome.
Jesse: Where's my token to get on?
Sarah: Here. (hands him a coin)
Jesse: This is a quarter.
Sarah: What?
Jesse: Where is my token?
Sarah: That's all I have. One token and one quarter. That dang machine gave me a quarter!
Jesse: So do we need another token or not?
Sarah: We need another token.
Jesse scrambles to go buy another token before we reach the front of the line. We had been waiting for about ten minutes and they only allow a certain number of people to go through at a time. They are ready for us to board. He comes back in time but we are separated by three turn stalls. I shout out to him:
Sarah: Where's my token?
Jesse: I only have one token.
Sarah: Well were is mine? I gave you a token.
Jesse: No you did not.
Sarah: Jess, I don't have one.
Jesse: Do we need another token?
Sarah: Yes!
At this point people are pushing as if there were some imminent civilization destroying natural disaster behind us. Jesse begins to step out of line to go get yet again another token when a worker probably just sick of hearing us bicker said, "Just go". We all step on to the train. Jesse is separated from the rest of us and is pushed to the back of the subway car. I quickly check my pockets to make sure I don't have the coin, while Jesse's not looking. After some people get off he meets back up with us. I immediately start frisking Jesse for the incriminating token. I know he has it on him.
Jesse: What are you doing?? People are looking. This is highly inappropriate.
Sarah: Do you have something to hide?
Jesse: What?
Sarah: If you don't have the coin, turn out your pockets.
Jesse: I don't have the coin.
Sarah: Someone does. I don't mind showing you my pockets.
Jesse: Get off of me.
Sarah: That's what you were doing in the back of the train. You were ditching the evidence. You were getting rid of the token, weren't you?
Jesse finally shows me that he does not have the coin. Turns out Caleb had it. It was in his jeans pocket. No idea how he got it. And that stupid token machine had to give me a quarter because 75 cents doesn't go into $10 evenly. It's 13 tokens and 1 quarter.
Mix three parts children, one part confined space, two part prideful personalities and you get an incubator for, let's call it, marital conflict. (Domestic violence seemed to harsh. There's not a jury in the world that would have convicted me.)
I look over at Ben and Liz, and they are holding hands. Isn't that nice?
The man next to Jesse laughs and tells him, "Been there, done that. Can't win buddy. Don't even try."
I heard that, sir!
To end on a happy note, isn't he cute?
