Surgery

He's crazy.  He just is. . . and I love him for it.

Add anesthesia and he is insane.

Jesse underwent hernia surgery.  Once he woke up the nurses called me to come pick him up.  I walk into his room and it becomes evident that he is pissed.  I ask him what is wrong.

"Who serves cookies without milk?  They gave me cookies but no milk.  I am supposed to drink water?!"

"Sarah, I am so glad you came... I thought you were going to lose your phone and they would put me in a nursing home"

As he is getting dressed, he points to his stomach,  "I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking I'm fat.  But this isn't me, this is the surgery.  I'M  SWOLLEN!  I fluctuate between curvy and chubby."

In the car, "Where's my phone??  I need to call people and let them know I'm okay.  They need to hear it from me.  They don't need to come get me, you showed up."

"This is Jesse.  They did it.  It's done.  I'm  okay.  No need to come get me.  Okay, bye"  He called at least 10 people and left them this same voicemail.

"I need my pain medications.  Go get them!"

Me:  And you're going to watch Enzo?

Jesse:  Do what?

Me:  watch Enzo?

Jesse:  Do what?

Me:  Okay.  I'm waiting until Ann gets here.

Jesse:  Why?

Me:  To keep an eye on you and Enzo.

Jesse:  I am a grown man.  Go!!  Two things (holds up 3 fingers)  I'm not going to cook.  Enzo's not going to cook. . . he can't cook, he's a baby!

Me:  Okay, let me have Enzo.

Jesse:  (Grabs Enzo real tight)  I LOVE HIM!

At one point in the conversation he starts crying, hysterically calls his mother, and tells her I left him and that he is all alone.  When in reality I was unbuckling Enzo and bringing in things from the car.

Awesome.  Next time I'm bringing a camera.